Thursday, April 14, 2011

Am I a Fault-Finder?

So, my mentor and I are starting this book study together.  The book we chose is called "In The Grip of Grace" by Max Lucado.  I have read the first chapter and already I feel convicted.  He is discussing the four types of people that are mentioned in Romans 1-3.  They are 1. Hut-Building Hedonist 2. Fault-Finding Judgmentalist 3. Rock-Stacking Legalist and 4. Grace-Driven Christian.  I always thought of myself as a Grace-Driven Christian. I love to serve, counsel and teach our college ministry.  I pray and teach my children about God and His Grace and Jesus' sacrifice for us. I love to sing and worship God!   But, through this first chapter of Max Lucado's book, I am seeing myself differently, and I am a bit ashamed of what I see.  I think I may be judgmental. 
Now, I have to say that I come by this character trait honestly.  Judging others, and thinking you are better than them, seems to run in my family. I thought I was above all that, which puts me precisely in the same boat!  How frustrating!  I am realizing that when I look at others, I see their mistakes, and I get frustrated about them. I think that others can see the dumb stuff they do, and should change it.  I am a fix-it type of person.  Even when I counsel people, I tend to think "why can't they just stop being selfish and fix this?!  Just do it!"  Because of my position as a pastors wife, I get to hear a lot of stories about a lot of people's lives, and it frustrates me that people are such a mess.  But, what I do NOT usually look at, is my own mess.
I have a big mess, too. I guess I should be open and tell you a few of the things I have been dealing with:   I have been grieving several really hard losses of loved ones, I have two extremely needy preschool-aged children, I have gained a lot of weight, I am ashamed to look at myself in the mirror, I stress eat,  I don't have the energy to exercise,  I don't sleep well, I don't have many close friendships, my husband works a lot (which I appreciate, but its still hard not to see him much), I am frustrated with our housing situation, I wish that I had a place where I belonged and had a purpose, I feel basically lost.  And here I am, looking at others and getting worked up over the way they handle things.  I am ashamed and convicted by my judgmental attitude.  Oh man!  Do I feel like crap after reading chapter 1!  Thanks Max  :)
I am so glad that God forgives us and allows us to change our attitudes.  This is something I will continually work on, and hopefully can learn the humility that I should have.  Thank you God for making my mess into something for your Glory!


  1. Oh Laura, I feel the same way you do. The weight gain, the kids, never seeing my husband. I will have to get this book and follow along with you. I will pray for you and we really need to stop saying we will get together when we never do and just do it.

  2. Hi Julie! It's been forever! I miss you! Let me know a good day to get together and maybe we can meet in the middle. Are you guys still way out west? Fridays are usually best for me since Macy doesn't have school. Love you

  3. Yes we are still out west. I have saturdays & sundays off. Thomas right now has Thrusday & fridays off -unless that changes again so maybe next friday night after i get off we can get together.

  4. I think Friday night will work. Let me know for sure and where we should meet :)